“I didn’t do that, you did.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you, but you made me do it, it’s your fault.”
These are common things we hear in a relationship. When it comes to placing blame in a relationship, it’s almost always easier to see the faults in our partner than in ourselves. But one thing that can ruin a relationship is playing the blame game – that is when people cannot take responsibility for their actions and believe that their significant partner is always in the wrong or even the cause of their own misdoings.
Although, it’s easier to spot a fault in your partner and be swift to blame them for every wrong thing that happens, you can avoid the blame game in your relationship. Here’s how;
Not who’s at fault. When something that needs attention or a quick fix happens, find out what the nearest solution should be or how you can salvage the situation. Arguing about who caused what or who to blame will not only worsen the situation, it will also build a wedge between you and your partner.
Close the ‘case.’ Once the blame starts going back and forth and escalating out of control, it becomes almost impossible to resolve who did what or who’s at fault, you keep going back and forth with no solution and no winner. So drop it and focus on more important things.
Don’t feel guilty. When you have a partner that loves to blame you for everything, you begin to feel guilty and less coordinated. There’s every tendency that you’ll always want to blame him when he makes a slight mistake too – just to remind him that he’s not perfect. Don’t be that person; always have it at the back of your mind that we’re all humans and we’re not perfect.
Communicate. People underestimate the power of communication in a relationship. If your partner plays the blame game, learn to talk to him, make him realise you do not appreciate it and sort out issues. Make a conscious effort to always communicate your feelings maturely, this way, no one needs to blame anyone. Instead, you cover yourselves up and find solutions to problems.